Adult children seek us out to document the stories and histories of their grand/parents. They understand the invaluable treasure their elders represent. This article provides guidance on how to talk to your parents or other family elders about capturing and preserving their stories.
In our experience at StoryKeep, it’s often the adult children who approach us, keen on documenting the life stories of their grand/parents. These adult children, often parents themselves, recognize the invaluable resource their elders represent. Beyond the practical insights and cherished family recipes, they seek a profound understanding of their origins and heritage, appreciating the unique perspective their family elders can provide about where they come from and who they are as a family.
Why Documenting Matters
When adult children consider commissioning a Legacy Film project, it’s typically because they perceive the irreplaceable value in capturing these stories before they are lost. It's about more than preserving memories; it's about understanding one's place in the world and creating a tangible connection to the past for future generations.
The challenge, however, lies in articulating to their parents why this endeavor is so crucial. Many adult children grapple with expressing the underlying fear of mortality and the desire to capture everything before it’s too late. Instead, they can frame their request in terms of love and legacy: emphasizing that their parents' stories are vital to their sense of belonging and identity.
The Heartfelt Message
At the core of these projects is a simple but powerful message: "You matter to me and to our entire family, including those yet to be born." This message honors the journey and wisdom of the elders, recognizing the unique and irreplaceable role they play in the family's history.
It might sound sentimental, but it’s deeply genuine. The legacy of a family's history and wisdom is a gift that spans generations, offering future family members a sense of identity and continuity. By documenting their stories, parents and grandparents can provide a lasting legacy that enriches and enlightens their descendants.
Practical Reasons
Aside from the emotional and personal reasons, there are practical motivations for documenting these stories. Many adult children realize there are aspects of their family history they don’t fully understand. They want to know how their family settled in a particular place, how a family business started, or other pivotal moments that shaped their family’s journey. These pieces of information are like keys that unlock entire worlds of understanding and connection. Knowing these stories can provide a richer context for one's own life and the collective family narrative.
The Gift Exchange
Interestingly, when approaching their parents or grandparents with the idea of a Legacy Film, many adult children present it as a gift for the parents. While it is undoubtedly a gift to reflect on one's life and be honored in this way, the true gift is often the other way around. Adult children are seeking something only their grand/parents can give: the story of their family, the origin of their shared human experience.
This exchange request requires humility. You must acknowledge that despite your independence and adulthood, there are some things you cannot obtain alone. You need your grand/parents to provide the story, one that intertwines with your own life.
Inviting Grand/Parents to Participate
To successfully embark on this kind of project, it’s important to guide your grand/parents through the process lovingly and respectfully. Inviting them to have a discussion with us at StoryKeep can help ease concerns they might have.
We will ensure that they feel comfortable, respected, and in control of their narrative. By involving them in the conversation with our team, they can ask questions, express any apprehensions, and ultimately feel empowered to decide if this is the right time and project for them. It’s about collaboration and mutual respect, ensuring that their story is told with the care and honor it deserves.
We find that after the initial surprise or apprehension of a Legacy Film project wears off, people are often curious and excited to make the most of this rare and priceless experience. Getting through this first phase respectfully is key to a successful outcome.
Summary
- Acknowledge the Value: Understand that documenting your grand/parents' stories is about capturing invaluable memories and understanding your heritage.
- Express the Heartfelt Message: Communicate that their stories matter to you and your family, now and for future generations.
- Highlight Practical Reasons: Recognize and articulate the practical benefits of understanding your family’s history.
- Frame it as a Gift Exchange: Emphasize that while it may seem like a gift for them, the true gift is the legacy they provide you.
- Guide Lovingly: Reassure them that they will be well taken care of and involve them in discussions with our team.
Next Steps
We invite you to take the first step in preserving your family's legacy. Reach out to us at StoryKeep to discuss how we can help document the unique and irreplaceable stories of your family. Together, we can create a lasting cinematic document that will be cherished for generations to come.
For more information or to schedule a consultation, please contact us. Let's ensure that the stories of your elder storytellers are beautifully and faithfully captured.